But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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