I puked a lego.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
