In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
