maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
