You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
