i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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