Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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