so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
