You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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