just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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