i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
