rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
