Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
