margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
