im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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