i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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