In the future we'll all be gay
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
