I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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