It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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