It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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