1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
