Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
