Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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