her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
