Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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