Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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