dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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