Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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