i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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