He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
