Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I smell stomach acid.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
