She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
