The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
