I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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