If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
