you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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