Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
