Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
