I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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