Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I see more hoeing in ur future
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