i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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