whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
