Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
