I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
