i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
