I'm gonna have a badass scar
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
