I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
