Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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