You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
