Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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