Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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