I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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