I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
