forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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