I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
