At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
